I’m unapologetic when it comes to looking after those I love. Showering them in anything and everything truly makes me happy. One of the biggest personal challenges I experience is feeling like a doormat because of this.
Like many people, especially Cancerians, I’m guarded when I meet new people. That said once you are in the circle, you can literally do no wrong. If you make a mistake, it will probably be forgiven (should you recognise and apologise for making one). Holding a grudge isn’t something I enjoy doing especially for personal growth, which is how I see a simple mistake. Not to mention it takes a tonne of energy I’d much prefer to use doing something enjoyable. How I see it is that there are somethings which are just more important in life.
Having a forgiving nature comes with loads of benefits too. You generally learn more about life and others which you can use on future friendships. Not to mention the impacts on physical health it can have if you are not. The stress hormone alone has been shown to have a physical impact. But what if you’re around a manipulator or a narcissist and you fall down a rabbit hole of forgiveness.It takes a huge amount for me to disconnect from someone however once I do it’s final. Never will I speak of it again nor hold a grudge, just treat you like a stranger I never have nor will meet.
The most important thing is providing an opportunity for someone to change. That means telling them why you are hurt or what is affecting you. If you’ve done this and nothing has really changed then perhaps you’re not explaining yourself fully or they simply don’t care.
It’s so sad when friendships don’t work out for whatever reason. However we live, we learn and move on. If you find yourself frequently challenged by someone’s behaviour and having to forgive them perhaps it is time to move on. Maybe you could begin by adding some distance between you both?
What are your tips on forgiveness?