Feature image by Edgar Pereira on Unsplash
If there’s anything you could take from being in lock-down, it’s that you have been given an opportunity to reflect on those who matter. Normally, it is difficult to avoid toxic people which makes it easy for them to make their way into your life and get settled. With multiple potential sources of stress in your life, toxic people can make it, even more difficult. So now that lockdown measures are lifting, it’s a great time to leave toxic people behind too.
Passive-aggressive
The subtlety of this one is what makes lockdown a supportive tool to identify them. Passive aggression is the passive expression of anger. You may have missed it before however it is actions such as taking their time to get ready making you late for an appointment despite knowing your appointment time. Other signs are backhanded compliments those which people might not necessarily pick up on unless they are really paying attention or on the receiving end. The behaviour often makes your brain run in circles trying to figure out what this person is thinking and why he or she keeps sending hidden messages. You may spend hours backtracking over your every move or word.
Negative
This type of person is always angry and unhappy about something. The impact is that they can make you feel like they are sucking the life out of you. This is due to their overwhelming pessimism and constant negativity. Prolongued exposure to complainers can over time, make you develop negative thinking. We all know the importance of mindset and the impact of positive thinking. It’s important to remember that people feed on attention so keeping it brief is important. Should this be someone you can’t completely remove then practice positivity triggers. Remember that they are providing you with an opportunity to grow.
Self-absorbed
Friend or relationship, being selfish means that they extract love and affection without returning either. This is because they feel that they are needed more than they need you, making you indebted to them. It can be subtle but ultimately being in a consistent relationship with a selfish person can make your life a misery. Since they are also incapable of accepting feedback, the relationship will only ever be one-way. Leaving them and their relationship behind is a good thing for you.
One-uppers
There’s always that one person that has always had a better version of everything. No matter what you or anyone else has achieved somehow, they’ve achieved something better or they already achieved it. It gives the impression that if those around them flourish, it means they can not. The desire to brag about anything and everything in order to out do those around them can have a big impact on you. By having the upper hand on those around them, can make those around them feel less over time. If you find that you feel less because of this type of person, the best way to deal with them is not engage with them at all.
Gossips
It is one thing to have a non-judgemental natter from time to time however this is different. These are the types that deliberately tear down others behind their backs for their own entertainment. Although this may seem entertaining at first when you’re included, remember they will one day tear you down. It is even worse as they will most likely do this behind your back, so you won’t even know about it.
Self-destructive
The self-destructive type will do the opposite of any good decision creating a life of chaos. As a result, you will become a fire fighter until their decisions consume your life. The constant excuses, defensiveness and never-ending poor decisions is one that you should not support long term. Often the ones who believe real friends will be at their side in prison for a reason. You’ll try extremely hard to help them and the only thing that will happen is you’ll get taken down too.
What are your thoughts? Will you be leaving any in lockdown?
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Well said. I’m leaving my book group club due to some of the behaviors you describe. Life is too short.
Yes it really is too short. There are other book clubs which will hopefully make your reading experience more enjoyable, as they should.